Showing posts with label Aspergers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aspergers. Show all posts
Saturday, 6 November 2010
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
The Gallery: Makes Me Smile
This week's prompt for The Gallery is 'Show Me The Funny'. Well, the following photo's aren't especially funny but they do make me smile every time I see them.
Nipper has problems with fine motor control and so struggles to hold a pencil properly. As a result he hardly ever wants to write or draw. I was absolutely thrilled when he brought this card home from nursery for Mother's Day earlier this year.
Nipper and Tiddler love to help me with the laundry. Inside the card was this:
The photo of Nipper makes me laugh every time I see it because it's him all over.
Nipper has Asperger's Syndrome and we have a lot of challenging behaviour to deal with. Sometimes its too easy to see only the disability and forget the little boy living with it. This photo is great at helping me to remember that.
Nipper has problems with fine motor control and so struggles to hold a pencil properly. As a result he hardly ever wants to write or draw. I was absolutely thrilled when he brought this card home from nursery for Mother's Day earlier this year.
Nipper and Tiddler love to help me with the laundry. Inside the card was this:
The photo of Nipper makes me laugh every time I see it because it's him all over.
Nipper has Asperger's Syndrome and we have a lot of challenging behaviour to deal with. Sometimes its too easy to see only the disability and forget the little boy living with it. This photo is great at helping me to remember that.
Sunday, 5 September 2010
The End of an Era and a Disastrous Afternoon
Friday was Nipper's last day at nursery and it definitely feels like the end of an era to us. Off to 'big' school on Wednesday! We made a bit of a thing of it by buying a nice card and a big box of yummy biscuits for the staff, and a milky way bar for each of the kids in his class.
I was clearly on my own with this feeling of 'wow - he's finishing nursery'. When I went to collect him it was like any other day. None of the staff who normally work in his room were there, just an agency temp who wasn't aware it was his last day. None of the kids were aware that he wouldn't be coming back and when I went to check his tray his name label had already been removed (and there was no sign of the return of the deposit that I'd paid when he started there). It was a total anticlimax. So I gathered up his coat and bag and we went home. He wasn't bothered but I was miffed, and felt sorry that such a momentous time had been ignored, if that makes sense.
So, we decided to head off to the local leisure centre for their bouncy castle and soft play session. Both the boys love this and it was the last time that Nipper woulld be able to go. We generally have a drink and a cake in the cafe afterwards so it's a real treat. Unfortunately, the session wasn't running as they were hosting some sort of 'my bunny is better than your bunny' event. I was pretty cross, along with several other mummies in the queue, as there hadn't been any notice of the cancellation (I'd been at a session earlier in the week) and no notice on their website. This prompted a minor meltdown from Nipper who was really upset that he couldn't play on the bouncy castle. Now usually I'd do everything possible to calm Nipper down and stop him from disturbing everyone with his loud wailing. But this time I let him go at it so that they could have a few minutes of what I was now going to have to deal with because of their inconsideration!
I managed to persuade Nipper out into the garden area and we decided to have our drink and cake and this helped to calm him down. So, we're sitting at the picnic bench enjoying ourselves when a little gust of wind came along and lifted up our paper plate and deposited our cake on the floor! It happened in the blink of an eye - one second it was there and the next it was gone. The look of shock and horror on Nipper's face would have been comical except that it preceeded another bout of wailing. Now, I never go anywhere without a bag full of drinks, snacks, nappies, kitchen sink etc so I whipped out two snack bars and asked which one he wanted. Whilst messing about with the bars Nipper manages to knock over my coffee which spills like a waterfall through the picnic table and drenches my trousers and shoes. Cue louder wailing.
I've had enough by now so I suggest we leave and go see the boats on the river. But first we need to visit the little boys room. The main baby changing room is blockaded by a mountain of tools being used to mend the adjacent toilets. The other baby changing room is in the 'bunny' area and I'm not allowed down there. So I have to queue in the swimming changing rooms and wait for a family room to become available so I can change Tiddler. Then squash all three of us plus the pram into the smallest toilets I've ever been in so Nipper can do his thing! I don't know if it was the changing rooms or me having a hot flush but it was bloody sweltering in there!
We finally make it out of the leisure centre and head for the river where, thank goodness, there are plenty of boats, and lots of tractor type vehicles who are clearing up after the festival. And speaking of which the area looked like a refugee camp. I've never seen so much rubbish in one place, aside from a visit to the tip. God knows how much it costs to clear the place after the festival, though I noticed an army of 'community service' people (ie scallywags who avoid getting prison sentences and have to do 'useful' community stuff instead), so presumably that keeps the costs down!
We have a lovely walk without too much incident though we do have to venture into the undergrowth for Nipper to have another wee (I'd forgotten to bring the portapotty!) A little while later Nipper is having fun climbing on a fallen down tree when he informs me that I need to make his bum all shiny. Uh oh! That's what Nipper says when he needs his bum wiping - and on closer inspection boy does he need his bum wiping! This is very unusual for Nipper but I guess when you've got to go you've got to go! Making his bum 'all shiny' was a bit of a trick and viewed by everyone along the riverbank. Good job I've got the kitchen sink in my bag. This was shortly followed up by another foray into the undergrowth for yet another wee. Tiddler has decided that he's fed up of being an onlooker from the pram and starts wailing because I won't let him out to roll in all the goose poo that's on the grass.
I decide I've had enough disasters for one day and we head home. Mercifully, both boys fall asleep in the car and we have peace at last!
I was clearly on my own with this feeling of 'wow - he's finishing nursery'. When I went to collect him it was like any other day. None of the staff who normally work in his room were there, just an agency temp who wasn't aware it was his last day. None of the kids were aware that he wouldn't be coming back and when I went to check his tray his name label had already been removed (and there was no sign of the return of the deposit that I'd paid when he started there). It was a total anticlimax. So I gathered up his coat and bag and we went home. He wasn't bothered but I was miffed, and felt sorry that such a momentous time had been ignored, if that makes sense.
So, we decided to head off to the local leisure centre for their bouncy castle and soft play session. Both the boys love this and it was the last time that Nipper woulld be able to go. We generally have a drink and a cake in the cafe afterwards so it's a real treat. Unfortunately, the session wasn't running as they were hosting some sort of 'my bunny is better than your bunny' event. I was pretty cross, along with several other mummies in the queue, as there hadn't been any notice of the cancellation (I'd been at a session earlier in the week) and no notice on their website. This prompted a minor meltdown from Nipper who was really upset that he couldn't play on the bouncy castle. Now usually I'd do everything possible to calm Nipper down and stop him from disturbing everyone with his loud wailing. But this time I let him go at it so that they could have a few minutes of what I was now going to have to deal with because of their inconsideration!
I managed to persuade Nipper out into the garden area and we decided to have our drink and cake and this helped to calm him down. So, we're sitting at the picnic bench enjoying ourselves when a little gust of wind came along and lifted up our paper plate and deposited our cake on the floor! It happened in the blink of an eye - one second it was there and the next it was gone. The look of shock and horror on Nipper's face would have been comical except that it preceeded another bout of wailing. Now, I never go anywhere without a bag full of drinks, snacks, nappies, kitchen sink etc so I whipped out two snack bars and asked which one he wanted. Whilst messing about with the bars Nipper manages to knock over my coffee which spills like a waterfall through the picnic table and drenches my trousers and shoes. Cue louder wailing.
I've had enough by now so I suggest we leave and go see the boats on the river. But first we need to visit the little boys room. The main baby changing room is blockaded by a mountain of tools being used to mend the adjacent toilets. The other baby changing room is in the 'bunny' area and I'm not allowed down there. So I have to queue in the swimming changing rooms and wait for a family room to become available so I can change Tiddler. Then squash all three of us plus the pram into the smallest toilets I've ever been in so Nipper can do his thing! I don't know if it was the changing rooms or me having a hot flush but it was bloody sweltering in there!
We finally make it out of the leisure centre and head for the river where, thank goodness, there are plenty of boats, and lots of tractor type vehicles who are clearing up after the festival. And speaking of which the area looked like a refugee camp. I've never seen so much rubbish in one place, aside from a visit to the tip. God knows how much it costs to clear the place after the festival, though I noticed an army of 'community service' people (ie scallywags who avoid getting prison sentences and have to do 'useful' community stuff instead), so presumably that keeps the costs down!
We have a lovely walk without too much incident though we do have to venture into the undergrowth for Nipper to have another wee (I'd forgotten to bring the portapotty!) A little while later Nipper is having fun climbing on a fallen down tree when he informs me that I need to make his bum all shiny. Uh oh! That's what Nipper says when he needs his bum wiping - and on closer inspection boy does he need his bum wiping! This is very unusual for Nipper but I guess when you've got to go you've got to go! Making his bum 'all shiny' was a bit of a trick and viewed by everyone along the riverbank. Good job I've got the kitchen sink in my bag. This was shortly followed up by another foray into the undergrowth for yet another wee. Tiddler has decided that he's fed up of being an onlooker from the pram and starts wailing because I won't let him out to roll in all the goose poo that's on the grass.
I decide I've had enough disasters for one day and we head home. Mercifully, both boys fall asleep in the car and we have peace at last!
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Nipper Goes To A and E
We had a bit of an eventful start to this week. Nipper wasn't very well on Sunday and so couldn't go to nursery on Monday. He was fine but they have a 24 hour exclusion policy if your child has been throwing up. So, we were watering the veggies (must do a post about this as they are doing remarkably well!), me in my dressing gown and Nipper in his undies and welly boots, when he suddenly said that there was a bee in his ear and it was stinging him. Uh oh! I hoped that perhaps something had just buzzed loudly around his ear and made a big show of declaring that he was ok, there was no bee in his ear.
Well, there wasn't a bee, but there was a BEAD! A small pink one which, if I recall correctly, must have come off one of Miss Muffett's belts. I was tempted to have a poke around to try and get it out but then thought better of it. Rang the doctors and they said to take him to the hospital. Oh joy!
Knowing we'd be in for a long wait - we were hardly going to be a top priority - I made lunch and then packed drinks, snacks, books, cars and a couple of toys for Tiddler.
Trying to find somewhere to park was the first challenge. Even though the hospital has several car parks you're hard pressed to get a space but luckily we found someone who was just leaving. Next was the extortionate price for the parking - only slightly cheaper than getting a ticket for parking in the street in a residents marked bay! Having said that, when I was in having Tiddler one of the midwives told us not to worry about our parking ticket running out as we wouldn't be clamped. So I paid the minimum charge and decided to hedge my bets on that one.
There was a big queue for reception and a lot of people in the waiting room - most seemed to have leg and ankle injuries. Each person who came in the door was hobbling and hanging onto someones arm. Guess our 'bead in the ear' was going to be a nice diversion from the mundane then!
The boys were pretty good for the first hour or so. I had a stack of books about trains and tractors etc so Nipper was happy with them. But soon the shine started to wear off. Snacks and drinks followed but that was just a stalling manoeuvre and Tiddler decided he wasn't sitting in the pram for one minute more and Nipper took advantage of this to shoot off and inspect the automatic doors. No problem with that except that he wanted to know how they worked and so started pulling and pushing at them rapidly followed by running back and forth through them. All good fun for Nipper but mightily p*ssed off those in the waiting room.
Things just got better and better - Nipper joined in with a group of kids who were doing a 'maypole dance' around a column, got very excited by this and decided to be a 'rocket' which was closely followed by his dinosaur impersonation! Attempting to get him to come and sit down fell on deaf ears as I'm sure you can imagine. By this point I was getting huffs and tuts from various people so I snuck out and called Mr Earplugs and told him he'd have to come rescue me but given that he was an hour and a half away it wasn't going to happen very quickly.
Knowing how Nipper is I tend not to take him places where he's going to have to hang around for a long time. I do my shopping online at the moment rather than braving the supermarket, and if we go to the doctors or dentist I generally turn up just a couple of minutes before the appointment and hope they won't be running too late. I thought Nipper wasn't doing too badly really until the chap opposite said that he couldn't hear the doctors calling patients names because the kid was making so much noise (he wasn't making that much noise really and the doctors were barely poking their heads around the door which was around the corner from the waiting room).
So I wondered what to do? We couldn't go anywhere else or we'd miss our turn. I didn't think Nipper was doing too badly given that we'd been there nearly 3 hours by now. No other young kids were waiting to see the doctors so there were no other bored kiddies for the patients to focus on. So I rather loudly declared that Nipper was autistic and was doing the best he could given that we'd been waiting for 3 hours! That shut everyone up and nobody huffed or tutted or even met my eye after that! Funny how if you have a 'reason' everyone is much more sympathetic or perhaps it was just embarrassment.
Well, we finally got in to see the doctor who said that he didn't have the relevant instruments to get the bead out and so we'd have to come back the next day for an appointment at the ENT clinic! And if they couldn't get it out Nipper would have to have a general anaesthetic! Arrrggghhhh! Couldn't someone have decided that a bit sooner!!
So, Tuesday morning we did it all again! This time Mr Earplugs came too and we attempted to use the hospital's drop-off zones so hubby could park up somewhere while we found the clinic. First drop off zone was full of parked cars so no room to drop-off. Second drop-off area had the gates shut. Couldn't work out where the 3rd drop-off point was as it just looked like a huge car park with no spaces. We just plonked the car in the middle of the road and all piled out in the end. Mr Earplugs ended up half a mile away before he found a space and had to run back to make our appointment.
Except it turned out that we didn't have an actual appointment at all - it was a turn up and wait clinic and because I'd been told I had a specific appointment I hadn't brought the toys, snacks, books, kitchen sink! Bl**dy H*ll! This clinic had a supposed childrens waiting area. Great! Went into it and there was nothing in it bar a couple of chairs. It was basically just a holding cell to keep the kids locked up and Nipper was most unimpressed. Luckily we only had to wait for a hour for our turn so Nipper had only got to the 'rocket' impersonation stage! We were in and out of the exam room within about 5 minutes, the offending bead having been plucked out by a teeny tiny prongey tool.
And, get this, the nurse told me not to let him play with beads any more! Yeah right - I let my child play with beads, which his baby brother could choke on, so that Nipper can stick them in his ear and have us waste 2 half days fannying around at the hospital!!
......................................................................................
Just wanted to add a big thank you for all the supportive and helpful comments following my last post - I really appreciate them. I've started a new blog to chart our asperger's journey so will be posting any asperger specific stuff over here.
Well, there wasn't a bee, but there was a BEAD! A small pink one which, if I recall correctly, must have come off one of Miss Muffett's belts. I was tempted to have a poke around to try and get it out but then thought better of it. Rang the doctors and they said to take him to the hospital. Oh joy!
Knowing we'd be in for a long wait - we were hardly going to be a top priority - I made lunch and then packed drinks, snacks, books, cars and a couple of toys for Tiddler.
Trying to find somewhere to park was the first challenge. Even though the hospital has several car parks you're hard pressed to get a space but luckily we found someone who was just leaving. Next was the extortionate price for the parking - only slightly cheaper than getting a ticket for parking in the street in a residents marked bay! Having said that, when I was in having Tiddler one of the midwives told us not to worry about our parking ticket running out as we wouldn't be clamped. So I paid the minimum charge and decided to hedge my bets on that one.
There was a big queue for reception and a lot of people in the waiting room - most seemed to have leg and ankle injuries. Each person who came in the door was hobbling and hanging onto someones arm. Guess our 'bead in the ear' was going to be a nice diversion from the mundane then!
The boys were pretty good for the first hour or so. I had a stack of books about trains and tractors etc so Nipper was happy with them. But soon the shine started to wear off. Snacks and drinks followed but that was just a stalling manoeuvre and Tiddler decided he wasn't sitting in the pram for one minute more and Nipper took advantage of this to shoot off and inspect the automatic doors. No problem with that except that he wanted to know how they worked and so started pulling and pushing at them rapidly followed by running back and forth through them. All good fun for Nipper but mightily p*ssed off those in the waiting room.
Things just got better and better - Nipper joined in with a group of kids who were doing a 'maypole dance' around a column, got very excited by this and decided to be a 'rocket' which was closely followed by his dinosaur impersonation! Attempting to get him to come and sit down fell on deaf ears as I'm sure you can imagine. By this point I was getting huffs and tuts from various people so I snuck out and called Mr Earplugs and told him he'd have to come rescue me but given that he was an hour and a half away it wasn't going to happen very quickly.
Knowing how Nipper is I tend not to take him places where he's going to have to hang around for a long time. I do my shopping online at the moment rather than braving the supermarket, and if we go to the doctors or dentist I generally turn up just a couple of minutes before the appointment and hope they won't be running too late. I thought Nipper wasn't doing too badly really until the chap opposite said that he couldn't hear the doctors calling patients names because the kid was making so much noise (he wasn't making that much noise really and the doctors were barely poking their heads around the door which was around the corner from the waiting room).
So I wondered what to do? We couldn't go anywhere else or we'd miss our turn. I didn't think Nipper was doing too badly given that we'd been there nearly 3 hours by now. No other young kids were waiting to see the doctors so there were no other bored kiddies for the patients to focus on. So I rather loudly declared that Nipper was autistic and was doing the best he could given that we'd been waiting for 3 hours! That shut everyone up and nobody huffed or tutted or even met my eye after that! Funny how if you have a 'reason' everyone is much more sympathetic or perhaps it was just embarrassment.
Well, we finally got in to see the doctor who said that he didn't have the relevant instruments to get the bead out and so we'd have to come back the next day for an appointment at the ENT clinic! And if they couldn't get it out Nipper would have to have a general anaesthetic! Arrrggghhhh! Couldn't someone have decided that a bit sooner!!
So, Tuesday morning we did it all again! This time Mr Earplugs came too and we attempted to use the hospital's drop-off zones so hubby could park up somewhere while we found the clinic. First drop off zone was full of parked cars so no room to drop-off. Second drop-off area had the gates shut. Couldn't work out where the 3rd drop-off point was as it just looked like a huge car park with no spaces. We just plonked the car in the middle of the road and all piled out in the end. Mr Earplugs ended up half a mile away before he found a space and had to run back to make our appointment.
Except it turned out that we didn't have an actual appointment at all - it was a turn up and wait clinic and because I'd been told I had a specific appointment I hadn't brought the toys, snacks, books, kitchen sink! Bl**dy H*ll! This clinic had a supposed childrens waiting area. Great! Went into it and there was nothing in it bar a couple of chairs. It was basically just a holding cell to keep the kids locked up and Nipper was most unimpressed. Luckily we only had to wait for a hour for our turn so Nipper had only got to the 'rocket' impersonation stage! We were in and out of the exam room within about 5 minutes, the offending bead having been plucked out by a teeny tiny prongey tool.
And, get this, the nurse told me not to let him play with beads any more! Yeah right - I let my child play with beads, which his baby brother could choke on, so that Nipper can stick them in his ear and have us waste 2 half days fannying around at the hospital!!
......................................................................................
Just wanted to add a big thank you for all the supportive and helpful comments following my last post - I really appreciate them. I've started a new blog to chart our asperger's journey so will be posting any asperger specific stuff over here.
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Non-neurotypical Nipper
I'm not sure quite how to write this post so I'll just dive right in - last week we were told that Nipper has Asperger's Syndrome and probably ADD/ADHD as well. I wasn't entirely surprised as I figured that a 3 year old couldn't be consistently 'difficult' without there being something else going on.
I've found Nipper to be a handful since he was around 18 months old. I thought that I'd forgotten how hard it could be to look after a little one since it'd been 10 years since I had Miss Muffett. I followed all the advice given by the health visitor with regard to discipline and trying to get him to eat properly (at the time he would only eat yoghurt and fruit puree). But we didn't have much success. She eventually told us to forget doing 'time out' as it clearly wasn't having any effect. We also tried the 'this is what's for lunch/tea and if you don't eat it you'll go hungry' method but it made little difference and he would go from one breakfast to the next (and still does quite often) without eating anything.
I thought I was doing a bit of a crap job at the whole 'mum' thing and so arranged for Nipper to go to nursery several mornings a week as I figured that being with other children would help him to learn how to behave, get him to eat etc. Everybody said that he was just being 'a boy' and that boys developed slower than girls and were more boisterous. However, not long after he joined the nursery they expressed concern over his attention and concentration and about him wanting to go off and do his own thing all the time. They chatted to the health visitor but she seemed to think that everything was ok, and later I was told by a different health visitor that Nipper just knew his own mind and was awkward and stubborn.
Nipper moved up to the 'pre-school room' at nursery about a year ago. They continued to be concerned about him and in April asked my permission to call in the SENCO (local authority special educational needs co-ordinator). I agreed and talked to the health visitor again. This time she decided that perhaps she had better refer him for a paediatric assessment, especially as he was due to go to school in September and we've been having 'issues' for quite a long time. I asked the nursery to jot down their specific concerns so I could take it, along with my concerns, to the paediatrician. I was horrified to be given a 4 page report with a long list of issues on it, far more than I'd been led to believe, and including that there was a gap between his age and his development, and also that he wasn't meeting his Early Years targets. I'm feeling pretty annoyed, and rather let down, that we seem to have suddenly gone from there being a few areas of concern to him seemingly not being able to do anything appropriate for his age. It can't have happened all of a sudden so why didn't the nursery tell me sooner!
Anyway, the meeting with the paediatrician was very interesting. He was quite angry that Nipper hadn't been referred earlier given that there had been concerns for quite a while. His assessment is that Nipper has Asperger's and is clearly hyperactive with attention issues. Now we have to wait for a language assessment as there are concerns in that area too. It's very difficult to get Nipper to do what you want and it's not clear whether he fully understands what you are saying. When you chat to him he frequently talks about stuff which is completely unrelated to what you were talking about. It's almost impossible to get information out of him and though he will ask "what" and "where", he never asks "how", "why", or "when". The paediatrician can't make the ADHD diagnosis so we have to get his report plus the SENCO's report and go back to our Doctor and request another referral. We should also apparently request a referral to a dietician to get some help with his food issues. In addition to all this we think that Nipper may have some sensory issues too but we're not quite sure who should assess that - hopefully our Doctor will know!
I'm hoping that at some point someone will point us in the direction of getting some useful advice on how to manage and help Nipper. At the moment we have a diagnosis but not much else. I don't like labels but I would rather have the label of Asperger's than for people to think that Nipper is purposefully defiant, awkward and stubborn!
I feel a bit 'all at sea' at the moment and as if I should be doing something right this minute to help Nipper. I'm hoping that a good trawl of the internet will point me in the right direction. When I started my blog and named it Tilly Tatas ('tatas' being northern dialect for a journey) I certainly didn't think that we'd be off down this path. You never know what's around the corner!
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